by Eddie Acunzo » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:20 pm
I guess it was Marion that wrote this Posting:
I really like this posting. It really shows the attitude difference between yesterday vs. today in stark contrast. Some people might say it shows how far we've come as a society, but I don't agree. A more accurate description might be it shows the "woosification" of society and our youth since our time of childhood. I think there might have been some easy common sense things that may have been worth doing to safen up our playgrounds when we were kids, but society has gone way overboard trying to protect our kids from every bump, bruise and tumble. I think this effort is ridiculous and begins to rob kids of essential experiences of growing up. I'm not talking about pain, I'm talking about experience, maybe protecting yourself from pain. As usual, we've taken things to ridiculous lengths.
This blows me away. I saw a segment on HBO Real Sports the other day where they talked about a real movement afoot in school sports where some school programs think that the wise thing to do is to eliminate all competitive sports from their curriculims because they think its psychologically harmful to expose preteen and teenage children to failure, which is what happens in competition. Instead sport activities should be geared so that all participants win and no one is "scarred" by the experience of failing to succeed. Can you believe it? How does this ready them for adulthood, help prepare them to succeed in an increasingly competitive world? Perhaps if they let their boss know that giving the promotion to that other employee who performs better will hurt their feelings, maybe he'll give to them afterall?
Or maybe I'm fussing about nothing. Our kids will be just fine as long as we make sure they wear their helmets, eye protection, protective elbow and knee pads as they sit in the den playing their X-boxes and computer games, as long as they're not of a competitive nature. Never mind that the games may be excessively and incessantly violent, graphically ~~ or otherwise obscene. We wouldn't want to restrict their rights by telling them that participating in this behavior was offensive to us and people around them, would we?
In my opinion, our job with our kids is to be a parent, not a friend, they've got lots of those. Often times that's very hard to do, especially when there's an easier path. But that's what they need. I don't think they need someone to solve all their problems for them. They're a lot better off if you can teach them how to get them solved for themselves. Our most important job of all is to prepare them as best we can to take care of themselves in life. So I actually believe there comes a time in the life of your kids where if you find yourself paying your kids bills or buying them things (new car, whatever) that they should be able to take care of themselves, by doing so you are actually hurting your kids as I see it. Teaching them to be self-sufficient is critical. I don't think parents today see that as a critical lesson, and that's one of the primary reasons why we have much more dependent children who live with us longer before they strike out on their own. Even when they do eventually move out, they are usually not content to start out with second hand stuff, or even go without some stuff initially. They must have everything new, and name brand. And usually the collective family indulges them. That's a big difference from when we were moving out of our parent's homes. We slept on matresses, or had telephone company wire spool coffee tables, or cinderblock entertainment centers with 2 x 12 shelves in our apartments, or goodwill furniture and built from there, and were very proud of what we had. It was a great adventure and we wouldn't have had it any other way.
I believe this "earning" concept (rags to riches) made our eventual achievement more fun and satisfying, but by giving and doing too much for our kids it gives them a sense of entitlement instead. They don't have to earn it.
So I've heard lots of people say kids today are different than when we were coming up. But are they building them any different genetically? I don't think so. Kids are kids. I think if they are different, it's because we are doing something different while raising them. In other words, we're raising them different, it's our fault and we can change it.
I hope I haven't bored everyone to death.
Eddie